Saturday, December 26, 2009

Bethlehem - (Charles Williams)

Bethlehem
A Poem

A star of travel shines above,
The small town sleeps below,
How shall I find the Mother of Love,
As through the world I go?
The emperors sit at their table bright,
To bring great things to pass,
But the Mother of Love is hid in the night,
With the ox and the ass.

How shall I find the Mother of Love
Amid all heads defiled
And her holy hands of succour that move,
About her holy Child?
Her eyes are lit and her footfall sings
As Eve's through Eden grass,
But she dwells to-night with all toil-worn things
And the ox and the ass.

What are the days that walk with her,
That shall be friends to me?
Days of incense and gold and myrrh,
Days of epiphany,
Days that follow a noble vow,
And the heavy days that pass
In labour of hammer and pen and plough,
And the ox and the ass.

If Love at last by cruel men
And the spear of Fate be slain,
Who shall bear witness to him then
Till he shall come again?
The Mother of Love, and the marching guilds,
And the priest that sings the Mass,
And the man that ploughs and the man that builds,
And the ox and the ass.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Christmas Carol poem by G.K.Chesterton

The Christ-child lay on Mary's lap,
His hair was like a light.
(O weary, weary were the world,
But here is all aright.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's breast
His hair was like a star.
(O stern and cunning are the kings,
But here the true hearts are.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's heart,
His hair was like a fire.
(O weary, weary is the world,
But here the world's desire.)

The Christ-child stood on Mary's knee,
His hair was like a crown,
And all the flowers looked up at Him,
And all the stars looked down.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
C.S. Lewis summed up Christmas in one sentence:
'The Son of God became a man to enable men to become the sons of God."

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

We can all stand around the pole.

For us Christians a unity tree?
Next will be the family candelabra for the Jews.
But, thankfully, they have left Festivus alone. This will become the new national early winter celebration.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Copenhagen Synod Part 2


Well the synod has concluded and to continue their religion mapping they even created a secret society that may or may not have the power to put countries, which do not go along with them, on double secret probation but we shall see.
"The so-called Danish text, a secret draft agreement worked on by a group of individuals known as “the circle of commitment” – but understood to include the UK, US and Denmark – has only been shown to a handful of countries since it was finalized this week.”

"The circle of commitment" has a nice ring to it don't cha think? Dan Brown could not have done better.

Also one of the goals of this group was to help (give money to) poorer members to deal with the effects of global warming. No one has yet to explain what it means to deal with these effects and they remind us it is not for us to understand - for their ways are far above our ways.
Archbishop Al Gore tells us in 5 years the polar ice caps will melt so maybe the money will be used to help Santa move his world headquarters.

And at the Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light. Sent up a hymn:
Oh blinding light,
Oh light that blinds,
I cannot see,
Look out for me!!

As Michael Jones tells us "You cannot be a skeptic on “Climate Change,” but only an ignorant “Denier,” You’re either quivering with salvation from seeing the light of wisdom, or you’re an ignorant knave in need of re-education."


At the synod the U.S. Secretary of the Environment singlehandedly spoke from on high by labeling CO2 emissions as health hazards . "This changes the conversation to health concerns and away from the endless squabbling over science between global warmers versus deniers."

That darn pesky science thingy. "Let it be done unto us according to your word."

But the synod could not, in good faith, outlaw exhaling.

However, since this pantheon takes their godhood quite seriously they did the next best thing by adding a population control measure to the overall agreement which would limit the number of people exhaling. After all gods have the power to decide who lives and who dies and they intend to exercise that power.
"Dealing with climate change is not simply an issue of CO2 emission reduction but a comprehensive challenge involving political, economic, social, cultural and ecological issues, and the population concern fits right into the picture," said Zhao, who is a member of the Chinese government delegation. Zhao said that China's population program has made a great historic contribution to the well-being of society. As a result of the family planning policy, China has seen 400 million fewer births, which has resulted in 18 million fewer tons of CO2 emissions a year, Zhao said. "

Maybe they do have a creed after all: Save the trees. Kill the babies.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Copenhagen Synod

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless, minority; keen to set brush fires in people's minds..." -Samuel Adams

"Comparative religion is very comparative indeed. That is, it is so much a matter of degree and distance and difference that it is only comparatively successful when it tries to compare. When we come to look at it closely we find it comparing things that are really quite incomparable. We are accustomed to see a table or catalogue of the world's great religions in parallel columns, until we fancy they are really parallel. We are accustomed to see the names of the great religious founders all in a row: Christ; Mahomet; Buddha; Confucius. But in truth this is only a trick; another of these optical illusions by which any objects may be put into a particular relation by shifting to a particular point of sight."
-GKC Everlasting Man


There is a small group of very tireless vocal people who want to radically to change our society (you know, them or they) to what they want to change it to has been hard to pin down. Oh yea, and they are pissed off because we can’t accept and embrace this change just cause we don’t want to bow down to an ambiguity.

Most of those in the vanguard of this group have taken a comparative religion class in college and saw that religion/s changed the society in which they flourished. So they began to remold their message in the shape of a religion. They learned that to be a religion all you needed were certain elements to parallel the other established religions. Most of these items were already floating around in their message they just needed to be codified into a cannon if not a creed.

President Barack Obama said in Turkey : "We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation...... "

They are still having a problem with the name of this religion it’s either secular humanism or moral relativism but they have established the basic elements (which they will defend to the somewhat uncomfortable) which are as follows:

Creation story - random chance evolution

A God – The Individual (“… your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who will know what is good and what is bad”.) Although some individuals are more god than others

Priests – Scientists (we know the truth) and Politicians (“vote for me and I’ll set you free”.)

Sacraments – sterile sex (the source and summit of life) and abortion

Original sin – Racism

Mortal sin – Rudeness, Being alone and Disagreeing with priests

Venial sin – individual wealth (you can have lots of money but you have to feel bad about it)

It would be easy to expand this list both horizontally and vertically but you get the idea. However, until recently they were missing a key element, one that would tie it all together and bend people to their will: AN APOCOLYPS. Ta-Da Global warming. No. Wait. Climate Change. Thus they are complete.

And it absolutely does not matter if the science is wrong because it fits the theology: since man is god, god can destroy man and since man is god, he can save himself from himself. Pretty neat huh?

The world must take action on climate change at Copenhagen even if the science is not correct, Tony Blair, the former Prime Minister has suggested.

Also note this quote from Mormon Roots Joseph Smith by Byron Marchant:
"When my then teen daughters asked if they could be baptized into the Mormon church I asked if they knew it was a hoax and they said it didn't matter."

Hugo, Tony, Barrack, Hillary have also taken a page out of Joseph Smith's book as they are all talking through their hats.

How long will it be, I wonder, before the Leftist Church of Perpetual Angst declares Al Gore the Galileo of the 21st century.

Uncle Gilbert again:

"Take away the supernatural, and what remains is the unnatural."

"Truth, of course, must of necessity be stranger than fiction, for we have made fiction to suit ourselves."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

"But the great towns have grown intolerable solely because of such suffocating vulgarities and tyrannies. It is not humanity that disgusts us in the huge cities; it is inhumanity. It is not that there are human beings; but that they are not treated as such. We do not, I hope, dislike men and women; we only dislike their being made into a sort of jam: crushed together so that they are not merely powerless but shapeless."

"The wise men know what wicked things
Are written on the sky,
They trim sad Lamps, they touch sad strings,
Hearing the heavy purple wings,
Where the forgotten seraph kings
Still plot how God shall die."

"The rich do mainly believe in divorce. The poor do mainly believe in fidelity. But the modern rich are powerful and the modern poor are powerless. Therefore for years and decades past the rich have been preaching their own virtues. Now that they have begun to preach their vices too, I think it is time to kick."

And some are now starting to kick.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

An Advent Story

As my daughter and I were making paper cutout snow flakes she said to me, "Ya know Christmas is Jesus' birthday". She said this as if she was the only one to figure that out.
"Yes it is. Should we send him a card?"
"Oh yes that would be great!" (she loves making cards) at this she stopped with the snow flakes and got out her crayons and markers.
About half way through with this masterpiece she asked, "How old is Jesus"?
"He is going to be 2009 years old give or take a little."
She gave me that concentrated look to see if I was kidding or not.
"Fur real?" she asked.
"Fur real." I told her.
"Mom! Is papa right?"
"Yes, dear."

Later that night as I was tucking her in to bed she said, "You know he doesn't look that old."
"Who doesn't?" I asked
"Jesus."
Trying not to laugh I said, "Yes. He has held pretty well."

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

When You Sing You Pray Twice


"The modern evil, we have said, greatly turns on this: that people do not see that the exception proves the rule." GKC Eugenics and Other Evils

It is like this: the wall is the rule and the gate is the exception that proves it. The gate proves there is a wall the wall does not prove there is a gate. So the evil Chesterton is talking about is now we have a great expanse of gates and very little wall left.

There are many "social issues" today that bare this out including but not limited to the acceptance of the new Eugenics of assisted suicide.

But this is Advent so let us just look at one expanse of gates; Christmas Songs.
You can do any search for the top 10-20 or 25 Christmas songs and only one (some lists have 2) song talks about Jesus. The winner on most lists was The Little Drummer Boy followed by Silent Night. But then again how can they compete with Santa Baby and I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.

The weeks before Advent the Church had been telling the story of the Macabee's. I know the protestants don't "do" those books because Luther cut them due to the fact that they contradicted his personal theology and Henry-duh-8 kept them cut cause the story was a dangerous one for him. The story however is important for us today as it has ever been. It is a story where the people of God finally say "Enough! The government is not our religion and the king is not our God."

Of course I'm not suggesting we do what they did and go into prairie dog town and shoot some holes. But I am saying that we need to speak up and stop the madness.

Changing this simple song list is not as hard as trying to stay safe behind a barrier of gates. And songs have a powerful effect on how we view the world. Call your local radio station and request a true Christmas song. Do it once a day, have your friends do it and then their friends so without a single letter to the editor we can rebuild the wall.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The League of Bearded Catholics

Being a bearded fellow, I naturally have a certain affection for anyone who promotes facial hair.

But when they drag in Tolkien, Lewis, Belloc, and Chesterton, and adopt St. Nicholas as their patron saint, well, they have my attention.

T(olkien)he
L(ewis)eague
of
B(elloc)earded
C(hesterton)atholics
is a new blog that celebrates the four cited writers - and beards.

As they explain about themselves:

The League is meant to be held together by nothing much more than a sincere and spontaneous appreciation for Catholic culture, for authentic Catholic manhood and for the company of Catholic men and the women who tolerate them. If there is a chewy center to the Tootsie Roll Pop that is The League, it is an appreciation and gratitude especially for the lives and literary work of Tolkien, Lewis, Belloc and Chesterton - TLBC - (not necessarily in that order).

So, TLBC stands equally for The League of Bearded Catholics, and for Tolkien, Lewis, Belloc and Chesterton. You may have noticed that they are all dead British guys, and all important Christian writers of the twentieth century. You may also have noticed that not all of these gentlemen wore beards.

The last point is an important one. External beards are not required. Belloc was the only one of the four who had a beard (later in life). Chesterton had a moustache. Tolkien and Lewis were clean shaven. (The official position of the The League at this time is that, in spite of their smooth cheeks, both men sported a beard on the inside, which is the important and crucial thing. After all, some men - through no fault of their own - can't grow a beard, and we would not want to see them excluded from the fellowship by any mere accident of nature.)

They go on to explain, with tongue firmly in cheek (a beard-covered cheek, or course): The purpose of TLBC, then, is the same purpose for which God made wine... "To gladden the heart of man." We are glad to be alive, and our gratitude is expressed in what used to be called "merriment". The League is just a good-natured romp, even if our other goal (saving Western civilization) might sound to outsiders fairly grave and ambitious. If Western Civilization can be saved by beer, we stand ready to give it our best effort.

Excellent.

They even have bylaws, including:

1) The League is not a ministry and is not affiliated with or endorsed by any ecclesiastical body, however, we are guided in all things by the creeds, teachings and laws of the Catholic Church.

2) Membership in The League is open to all adults who are not witches or devil-worshipers or some such, so long as they can abide by the dictates of Rule #1.

3) Membership in The League places no obligation on any one. Meetings are strictly for the purpose of enjoyment, both the enjoyment of the literary tradition of the Four Patrons (Tolkien, Lewis, Belloc and Chesterton) , and that of meeting together with others of like mind. Preferably over drinks and good food. Or drinks, anyway.

5) *Though membership is open to all, individuals wishing to gain admittance to meetings must be bearded. For those without a beard, one will be provided, but it is the duty of the Sergeant at Arms to make certain that each who begs entry must wear a beard. Friendly non-members are welcome at meetings and some may even attain the exalted rank of Designated Driver.

6) Members attending meetings must also bring a passage (by one of the Four Patrons, or in the same tradition) which is to be read aloud - or even cooler, recited from memory. In addition, members are encouraged to make the fullest use of other media - movies, television programs, the internet, music, etc... . By the end of each meeting, a rough plan of the next meeting should be agreed on, with one or another member.

11) The League highly encourages and wishes to promote the creative projects of members, whether they be writing, art, video, music, cooking, brewing or other ventures. The colorfully written exploits of local chapter meetings and activities are especially coveted by the Homely Office, and will be published on the TLBC blog, probably.

Chesterton, of course, famously stated, "You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion." I suspect you could form a bearded league in a moment of passion, though whether such a thing would survive long once the passion abated is questionable.

Anyway, don your beards and check out The League of Bearded Catholics.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Proclamation

[New York, 3 October 1789]

By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor-- and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be-- That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks--for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation--for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war--for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed--for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted--for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

and also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions-- to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually--to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed--to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord--To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and us--and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Go: Washington

Monday, November 23, 2009

St. Francis would have liked GKC


It is not fitting, when one is in God's service, to have a gloomy face or a chilling look. - St. Francis of Assisi

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Youthful Foolishness: Socialism, Obama, and McGovern

I am reading - and enjoying - William Oddie's Chesterton and the Romance of Orthodoxy. I can only read it in chunks - too many other things going on, but it is well worth it.

As a youth, Chesterton briefly came "to see himself as a full-blown, committed socialist," Oddie says. Obviously, GKC later rejected socialism.

My point here is not to argue about Chesterton's flirtation with socialism, or even to reject socialism as did he. But as I read, I thought of all the young people drinking the Obama Kool-Aid last year. They, like Chesterton, were caught up in a movement, a bright vision of a way to create a better world.

Hopefully, they will realize as they grow wiser that President Obama is simply a politician, albeit a charming one, who tapped into the poetry of youthful enthusiasm, but who is already getting caught up in the prose of actually trying to govern. They may even come to see that some of the things he actually advocates -as opposed to the bright, "hopeful,"media-hyped image that too many embraced - are not morally acceptable or even prudent.

I was caught up in such a movement in my youth. Back in 1972, faced with the Vietnam War and the questionable actions of the Nixon administration, I plunged whole hog into the Presidential campaign of Senator George McGovern. As a Junior and then a Senior in high school I worked long hours at the McGovern headquarters, manning phones, typing, and heading out to campaign in neighborhoods. I can remember studying for my Trigonometry final while standing outside a polling place.

My rose-colored glasses began to fall away when he ditched Eagleton as his VP, and as our "hope" for victory rapidly disappeared in the long weeks of September and October. Still, I stuck with the campaign to the end. And the day after the election, having kept up with developments at a certain hotel in Washington and the digging of some reporters at the Washington Post, I told my father with prescient youthful bravado that Nixon would not last out the term.

If I were the person I am now, with the knowledge I have now, I would not have been caught up in McGovern's youth-fueled movement. But I was 16/17. Young and naive. Like so many of the Obama supporters now. And like Chesterton when it came to socialism.

Fortunately, like Chesterton, I found a true answer to the world's ills in faith and the use of common sense.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Quoting Chesterton

Every now and then I search online and at news sites for mention of G.K. Chesterton.

Occasionally I’ll find an interesting essay focusing on him, or a discussion that cites his ideas and arguments at length.

But most often, I find the mention of him is in passing in the form or a quotation or a paraphrase of a quotation. That is all fine, and it certainly helps to keep him in the public eye. And he certainly said many clever, witty, interesting things, and given his prolixity, there's ample material with which to work.

But I also wonder if it may also have an unfortunate effect: Could this make it easier to relegate him to the dustbin of history – or to dusty editions of “familiar quotations”?

It almost seems that his eminently quotable nature makes it easy to focus more on what he said and less on what he had to say. For too often the quotations are simply treated as quips that are now divorced from the larger contexts of cogent discussions of some significant topics.

I was suddenly reminded of Dorothy Day who, when people used to talk about her being declared a saint, often responded that she did not want to be dismissed so easily.

I hope that by being so quotable Chesterton will not be easily dismissed. He has too much to say to our age to be relegated to collections of witticisms.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Would he, could he?

The recent announcement of a special provision that would allow Anglicans/Episcopalians to reunite with Rome en mass while retaining some elements of their denomination and its rites got me to thinking about C.S. Lewis.

There has been endless speculation already about whether he considered becoming Catholic - and if so, why he held back - or that even if he didn't give it serious thought in his time were he alive in recent years and given the direction of the Anglican Church would have have been more open to doing so. And he certainly espoused some ides - such as Purgatory - that were more Catholic than Anglican.

We can only speculate, of course. And the provision might not have made a difference to him one way or another.

I do wonder how many Anglican/Episcopalians will indeed decide to take advantage of the provision? I wonder how many readers of Lewis who were drawn back to a more active Christianity and Anglicanism will take the next step.

I also wonder what Chesterton would have made of it. He need no such provisions to conclude that the Catholic Church was where he belonged.

"I think I have known intimately by now all the best kinds of Anglicanism, and I find them only a pale imitation," he declared.

And now, at least one kind of Anglicanism can now be truly Catholic.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Christmas Discovery

While visiting the local Catholic bookshop - with a gift certificate burning in my pocket - I discovered in the Christmas display (yes, even there the season is coming early) a little gem.

Advent and Christmas Wisdom from G. K. Chesterton, by the folks at the Center for the Study of C.S. Lewis and Friends.

It was published by Liguori in 2007, so others may have already taken note of it. But it was new to me.

Selections from Chesterton's writings along with Scripture and prayers. Interesting.

I have only glanced at it, but when I do get time to read it I will report back.

For now, I am occupied with William Oddie's Chesterton and the Romance of Orthodoxy.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Rochester Chesterton Conference (3)

Dale Ahlquist seemed to be on a mission: To link everything to Chesterton.

During the September 26 Rochester Chesterton Conference, Dale, with a smile, somehow managed to get a mention of Chesterton or Chestertonian ideas into every discussion. He even said that Pope Benedict was a good writer - but he would be even better if he quoted Chesterton more often.

Okay, he's doing his job. What do you expect from a guy whose wife suggests he found reading Chesterton the highlight of their honeymoon!

Ahlquist added a lighter touch to the conference that, while it had some amusing moments (who picked an Irishman to introduce that old Irish Catholic basher Joseph Pearce?!), was at times a bit heavy going. Good, enjoyable, enlightening - but not quite what one might have expected from a conference whose title was "Re-Awakening Wonder."

The conference featured not only Ahlquist ("The Universe and Other Little Things") and Pearce ("Standing on Our Heads: Wonder as the Key to Happiness"), but also Tom Howard ("On Childhood, Art, and Eternity") and David Higbee ("Wonder in Holy Writ"). The latter two were the first two speakers, neither had the style that Pearce and Ahlquist had, and both read speeches that, to be honest, sounded like they would have been better as magazine articles, or college lectures.

Enough negativism. I did enjoy the conference. I alwuays enjoy Dale and Pearce, and I wanted to hear Howard, whose books I have read with pleasure. I left with a number of things to mull over.

Howard talked about the "capacity to see wonder in ordinary things." He pointed out that childhood, art and eternity are the three realms in which to experience glory. In childhood, we see the world with a sense of wonder. We lose that sense of wonder as we grow older, but art can help us to glimpse it again. He noted that "childhood and art seem to me to be the harbingers of eternity."

He then talked at length about C.S. Lewis, and in particular the Chronicles of Narnia,. Those seven books help us to rediscover the glory inherent in the ordinary. He made me want to reread Lewis - especially the Chronicles.

Higbee said that wonder is at the "heart of all true spirituality." He pointed out the sense of wonder and awe in multiple scriptural citations.

Pearce noted that while mature Christians are not childish, they should still be child-like.

He suggested that when God turned His back on Adam and Eve, he may have been laughing - as a parent might laugh after punishing a child. For God knew what was to come, and the glory that awaits us.

"Ultimately the key to happiness is learning to love as God loves, and learn to laugh as God laughs."

Ahlquist quoted Chesterton repeatedly - so much so that I wasn't sure at times what was Ahlquist and what was Chesterton. Which was absolutely fine with me.

Overall, a good day.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

A Worthy Cause


"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'"
-Jack Handy

"Drinking is in reality an occupation which employs a considerable portion of the time of many people; and to conduct it in the most rational and agreeable manner is one of the great arts of living."
James Boswell

"No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness -
or so good as drink."
--G. K. Chesterton

That said here is a protest Uncle Gilbert would support

Rochester Chesterton Conference (2)

A police line-up? No, just the Rochester Chesterton Conference speakers and host.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Rochester Chesterton Conference (1)

Rochester Chesterton Conference September 26 - Thomas Howard and Dale Ahlquist were among the featured speakers. More to come!

Thursday, September 03, 2009

a new twist on art history

Chesterton spilt a lot of ink discussing art and artists and in that tradition we have moved a lot of pixels on this blog talking about art and artists. Some times we have spoken in praise of art and sometimes we have scratched our heads on why a particular thing was elevated to the category of art. Here is one of the best short summaries of Leonardo Da Vinci I have read in long time. All of which I totally agree with.

If more of art history was written like this maybe it would spark interest in the subject from those who have this view: “Art History is generally the sort of thing that causes me to spontaneously break out in hives and start dry heaving into an airsickness bag with the maximum amount of force that can possibly be mustered by my diaphragm.”

Also here is a most excellent reenactment of a conversation with Pope J. and Michelangelo: