The Post-Election Post (With Some Clerihews)

 

For good or evil, a line has been passed in our political history; and something that we have known all our lives is dead. I will take only one example of it: our politicians can no longer be caricatured.  - Gilbert K. Chesterton

The 2024 election in the U.S. is mostly over. There are still some Senate and House seat winners to be determined, but some things are clear: Donald Trump will return to the Presidency, and the Republicans will control the Senate (House control will be determined when the remaining races are resolved).

I did not support Trump; I voted for Peter Sonski of the American Solidarity Party, which was very pro-life and had a platform that aligned with Catholic social teachings. Moreover, the Party embraced economic ideas that echo Chestertonian Distributism (or as it is now being called, Localism).

During the Biden interlude, the attempts to undermine Trump, and the campaign I wrote a number of political clerihews. I admit, they are more pointed and less whimsical than true clerihews should be, but they were amusing to write.

First, the Biden years. I admit, given the irregularities in the 2020 campaign I refused to call him by the title he assumed. 

The eyes of former Vice President Biden
suddenly began to widen.
"Wait, you mean now that they say I've won,
people actually expect me to get something done???"

Former Vice President Joe Biden
is content to let gender definitions widen.
He has himself long used the trick
of identifying as a devout Roman Catholic.

Former Vice President Joe Biden
caused some Royal eyes to widen.
His press people sighed, for from the start,
they've been battling accusations he's just an old fart.

Former Vice President Joe Biden
watches Ukraine, the border, inflation, and his poll numbers slidin'.
With so much at stake
it's time for an ice cream break.

Each encounter with Joe Biden
reveals what his handlers have been hidin':
Beneath that thinning hair,
there's less and less there there.

With delight the eyes of Joe Biden
suddenly began to widen
when one of his aides said,
"It's time for bed."

Then there were the Lawfare efforts to undermine Trump.

Fani Willis
used Nathan Wade for some carnal bliss,
What drew him to her is not plain to see;
perhaps money and the odor of mendacity?

Fani Willis
with Nathan Wade sought illicit bliss.
Part of her appeal may have been her capacity
for mendacity.

Fulton County D.A. Fani Willis
on the stand appeared to be quite cheerless.
Maybe before storming in she should have gotten loose
with the help of some Grey Goose.

New York Attorney General Letitia James
is fond of playing games.
Her latest was attending a trial and practicing her smirk
instead of showing up at the office to work.

We then witnessed the Republican primaries.

They say Nikki Haley
practices taekwondo almost daily.
At the debate Ramaswamy felt
what it was like to get hit by someone with a black belt.

Vivek Ramaswamy
is fond of making origami.
As was shown during the first debate,
some of his views are similarly pretty but light-weight.

Finally, there was the actual campaign after the coup, with Harris getting the nomination and choosing to run with Tim Walz.

Kamala Harris
serves salad to her guests on the terrace.
Those seeking more substantial fare
won't find it there.

Kamala Harris
stood on her multi-million dollar mansion's terrace.
Although she claims to have grown up middle class
she now views middle-class values as crass.

Kamala Harris
stood smiling on her multi-million dollar mansion's terrace.
Although she claims to have grown up middle class
she now gives middle-class values a pass.

Kamala Harris
finally made it to Paris.
And, yes, she did once visit near the border,
at a peaceful site her handlers found made-to-order.

Kamala Harris
didn't mean to scare us,
but her economic plan is so bad
some are now calling her "Komrade."

Assistant Coach Tim Walz
was enjoying some spaghetti and meatballs,
but then got a sick feeling in his belly
when an ad for tampons came on the telly.

Governor Tim Walz
was enjoying some spaghetti and meatballs,
but then got a sick feeling in his belly
when an ad for tampons came on the telly.

With a weird smile, Assistant Coach Tim Walz
placed tampon dispensers outside young boys' bathroom stalls.
And then he proved no slouch
when it comes to repeating crude lies about a couch.

I don't know if J.D. Vance
has ever been to France,
but unlike Walz he doesn't lack
service to the nation in Iraq.

When Trump assumes power in January I'm sure there will me more political clerihews surfacing!