Monday, June 12, 2006

A note, and an apology, and an attempt to make amends

The note:

Owing to my supreme fatigue and busy schedule, the planned article discussing Gilbert's travels in throughout the many corners of the world will not be appearing until later today. I recommend checking back around 5 or 6PM.

The apology:

I am sorry for the circumstances detailed in the note above.

The amends:

Two things. First, regardless of the length, quality or timeliness of the article about his travels, I can promise you that it will be as nothing in comparison to the article about his death, which will be informed in equal parts by wine, reminiscence, and a number of books that I have to return to the library tomorrow morning, and from whence I have, as such, spent this evening trancribing (hence the overall busy feeling). You can look forward to a thorough treatment of his final days, his death, and the aftermath; tributes from his friends; a telegram in condolence from one of the the most important men on Earth; some startling images rarely seen; and my own reflections on the matter. You will not, in short, want to miss it. Be there Wednesday.

Second, by way of a more immediate resitution, what follows is a small column transcribed from the G.K.'s Weekly from the week ending April 4, 1925. It would have been more potent to have put this up back around the same time two months ago, but I didn't have the issue then.
Announcement for April the First
  • The League of Nations will settle the outstanding differences between the Polish nationality and the political ideas of East Prussia in a manner satisfactory to both sides.
  • The government cure for unemployment will receive the unanimous support of all parties and be carried out with triumphant success.
  • The British Colonies and Dependencies will finally pledge themselves to a universal system of military service in support of the Mother Country.
  • The American Poet will make his appearance.
  • The inhabitants of California will show an enthusiastic hospitality to the Japanese and facilitate in every way their influence on the American continent.
  • A complete report of the Parliamentary proceedings for one night will be published in several volumes.
  • A very wealthy man will be punished for something.
  • Scientific men will discover in Spitsbergen the long series of Missing Links that would be necessary to establish the Darwinian theory of evolution.
  • Somebody will write a Socialist pamphlet that could be read by the poor people in whose interests it is composed.
  • The proposal to audit the Party Funds will be considered and carried out.
  • The Conservative Party will be gratified by the final establishment of Protection and the Radical Party by the disestablishment of the House of Lords - or possible the Church of England.
  • A policeman giving evidence will be harshly and severely forced to reconcile his statements with one another.
  • Some one or other of the Prophecies of our social future, written by sociologists during the last fifty years, will come true.
  • The social and political world will be soothed by the disappearance of this paper.
It's not much, of course, but it's something to read and have a chuckle over until I finally get back into any sort of shape to write something novel. Have a nice day, of course, and we hope to see you again this evening.

Be sure to check back tomorrow as well, of course, for Eric's treatment of the Chesterbelloc; a treatment I have long awaited.

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