The Glenn Beck Conspiracy Generator

Promising “Fair and Balanced Paranoia on Demand,” the Glenn Beck Conspiracy Generator, from About.com’s Political Humor blog, is a fine example of internet technology in service of a greater good.

I don’t have a joke for this one. I just like it. Copy down these algorithm-base screeds, bust them out at your next party or faculty meeting and see if anyone notices the difference. Good, clean, American fun.

To paraphrase G. K. Chesterton, when people stop believing in God they don't believe in nothing, they believe in everything ...The credulous and the gullible are having their day."

Heads up, culture warriors: The Secular Student Alliance, which promotes atheism and humanism among its more than 200 college chapters, is moving into high schools. The organization hopes to launch 50 high school chapters this year, to give young atheists the same social benefits of court-sanctioned after-school religious clubs. Barry Lasco, a senior at Stephen Austin High School in Huston, told USA Today he finally launched a chapter this week after months of administrative resistance.

Maybe he used Chesterton’s argument that ‘if there were no God there would be no atheists’ to win the administration over.

At these meetings, after the Sargent of arms declares there is no God and everyone cheers and congratulates each other on right thinking, what do they talk about?

“Joy, which was the small publicity of the pagan, is the gigantic secret of the Christian.” GKC

I was going to regale you all with my latest hospital adventure but then realized the only thing more boring than old people telling stories about their grand children are stories by old people about their hospital stays.

So here is something more important:
I have mentioned before I hate when comic book heroes get killed off but not as much as when they are brought back to life a few issues later, ie: Superman and Captain America.

Oh, but now they have gone to far! Marvel announced last week (when I was hospitalized to avoid the confrontation) that Spider-Man will be joining the Fantastic Four as the replacement for the Human Torch, who was killed off last month. Spidey will join Mr. Fantastic, The Thing, and the Invisible Woman in a new series called "FF" - which now stands for "Future Foundation."

As loyal readers know we hate to editorialize here at Chesterton and Friends. But let us be frank - this the approximate equivalent of Bruce Springsteen joining KISS. And the new costumes would make Edna Mode go screaming into the night. We should not stand idly by.

Signs that the Apocalypse is upon us

In a time when Taco Bell is being sued for not having meat in their meat taco we come up with meat water. For those vegetarians out there do not despair for you can still join the fun of drinking food with a grilled cheese and tomato soup martini.

I just hope they finally solved the problems Willy had with his Three-Course-Dinner gum.

And they want to regulate crisis pregnancy centers.

No one has been beaten, raped or killed in a crisis pregnancy center.

We are not hearing from the MSM about this because They Know It's True.
and
The Grand Jury has summed up this conspiracy of silence in a single damning paragraph. “Bureaucratic inertia is not exactly news. We understand that. But we think this was something more. We think the reason no one acted is because the women in question were poor and of color, because the victims were infants without identities, and because the subject was the political football of abortion.”

March for Life

This has been the first time in many years since I did the March for Life. Last time I was there the march encountered several loud anti life groups along the march. There was a large visible presence of all the major networks. These are no longer there. The only media truck I saw was from EWTN and a few local news stations. The only anti life comments I heard were when we were walking to the mall I over heard a lady on her phone say, "Yea and they are making such a mess of the streets". - The other was when our bus (and several others) stopped 2 hours outside of DC I heard a trucker say, "I'm going to give money to the first pro-choice group I see." Hey, he was upset - a LARGE group of teenagers had invaded his truck stop.

The opposition has changed its tactics. They no longer confront because confrontation draws media. They now believe they are invincible and treat the pro-life movement as a child that does cute but stupid things.

When I first went there was a lot of political chanting - "End it now!" "No more Death!" etc. This year I heard several rosaries said, the divine Mercy chaplet was sung and I overheard one priest say to another, "We've lost Sister Mary Dominic." (OK that one just cracked me up).

When I first went the make up of the march was mostly middle aged white people. Now the majority of the participants were young and there was a large contingent of people of color. It was good to see the young there it lets me see this issue is being passed down and embraced.

I am not deluded to think that this issue will be resolved by the Supreme Court any time soon.

Certain demons can only be driven out through prayer and fasting.

Sonogram technol-oh-gee has come a long way. they can now pick up the faintest sounds in the womb

is it just me or are you excited and scared poopless at the same time by this

as if there were any doubt

Pope John Paul II Beatification in May!!!!!

Even at CNN they were gushing - although they tried not to.

Archbishop Dolan makes a passionate plea to make abortions rare in the face of

39 Percent Of NYC Pregnancies Result In Abortion

Yes, read the article also read the comments. It seems that Rev. Herbert C. Mueller III started a fire storm in his support for the bishop. The comment thread outlines how much work is to be done. Once reality has been inverted it is hard to get it upright again.

I also noticed that the group that does the xtranormal films are using the same guy they used as G. K. Chesterton for Geiko commercials now calling him Sexy Grandpa. Not sure if Uncle Gilbert would approve or be laughing.

It is not enough to tolerate you must MUST approve.

"A purely libertarian society that only protected individual rights might let homosexuals form contracts and call them "marriages," but it would also permit every citizen to react to homosexual behavior by avoiding it -- if need be, by not hiring someone, or not letting him rent one's home. In a truly free country, people have the right to make such arbitrary decisions. We do not live in such a free country." (emphasis mine)

why work does not get done at work

When I was in the business world, as marketing manger and creative director, I was often asked why I did not have a cell phone so other corporate people could get in touch with me. I told them it was because there is no such thing as an art emergency.

One of the things I did well for the company was to budget the cost of a project because I always factored in think time and unnecessarily interruption time. The later was always created by the higher-ups since they don't actually do the work but feel the need to feel that they do. Higher-ups need to assign the work and then walk away. If they can't do that they are are either bad managers or hired the wrong people which means they are bad mangers.

The problem that faces all creative directors is that since everyone knows which end of the pencil makes the mark they think they are all artists. Or they think the artist eats lead and drinks ink then poops art - "so what's taking so long?!"

This of course is not just a problem for the creative types but any one working in an office trying to get something done. As a mathematical formula the higher the number of vice presidents a company has the less work gets done.

"It is perfectly obvious that in any decent occupation (such as bricklaying or writing books) there are only two ways (in any special sense) of succeeding. One is by doing very good work, the other is by cheating. Both are much too simple to require any literary explanation. If you are in for the high jump, either jump higher than any one else, or manage somehow to pretend that you have done so." -GKC

Many companies have managers willing to cheat surrounded by those who don't want to.

This guy has got it right. but will 'they' listen

I began this past Advent and Christmas time with a Lenten approach. I would stop being snarky (man I'm glad that's over) and I would stop listening to angry talk radio, (I don't think I will go back to that).

Sooo, from 'what could it hurt' department: A new way of educating: "The school stresses student independence over teacher-led lessons, scientific inquiry over rote memorization and freedom and self-expression over strict structure and discipline."

The question is; how any one can do scientific inquiry if one does not learn what scientific inquiry is? This can only be learned through rote memoization of scientific principles, whether its first grade or a Masters program. Would you want to travel across a bridge designed by someone who had his engineering facts down cold or by someone who feels really good about his ability to self-express?

"A teacher who is not dogmatic is simply a teacher who is not teaching." GKC

Open class rooms were tried in the early 70s (I was there) and were an unmitigated failure. The kids did not learn and if the personality's of the teaches were not a perfect mix they pulled the wagon in different directions or fought over who rules the fiefdom. And I never saw a perfect mix because the incentive to get along is not there. Teaching is a job, not a marriage.

“Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions.” GKC

“Men invent new ideals because they dare not attempt old ideals. They look forward with enthusiasm, because they are afraid to look back.” GKC

G.K. Chesterton, on sola scriptura

a bad idea in a sad time

"They", the fanatically polically correct, are removing the "N" word and other offensive words from Mark Twain's "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn". (here and here and almost everywhere).

I remember the uproar when Ted Turner started colorizeing all the Black and White films he owned. "It (colorizing) is a process of dissembling the historical and artistic fabric of our landmarks," Cates said. "Once you say you can add color, why can't you add a different score, add shots, re-edit it, or do anything you want?" Ted does not do this anymore.

The same can be said for books. Some publisher may not like the ending of a book so he changes it since the author is long dead - no law suit. No one owns the works of Mark Twain yet some feel it neccesary to change it, mostly those 'that have fallen off the left side of the boat white people'.

If this goes unchallenged imagin what They might do to Chesterton. Although most of Them don't know he ever existed.

In true fairness they should just remove all the Ns from Twain's work so the lead character will now be called Huck Fi.

Bentley: Clerihew

E. C. Bentley
evidently
knew just what to do
with a clerihew.

Just cause

I had a substitue assignment today with the High School music department - what fun! The String Orchestra is working on the Barber of Seville so this is what has been going through my mind all day:



"If a thing is worth doing it is worth doing badly." GKC

G K Chesterton, saint of the blogosphere

Thought you would enjoy this.

A key point is the charitable way in which he debated. Would that we all had such charity in our words.

G K Chesterton, saint of the blogosphere CatholicHerald.co.uk

Annos Diem 2011 Joy

We begin the new year with two great feast days the first is The Solemnity of the Holy Mother of God.

Mary, always a good place to start.

Then the feast of the Epiphany.

Truly I don't understand why we are called the religion on "NO" when we have so many feast days on the calendar - we are the religion of "Joy".

The Epiphany is when " He is adored by the three wise kings who represent the whole of humanity. This is why we believe that with this feast we celebrate the manifestation of the saving grace of the Lord to the whole world."

Much has been written on the symbolism of the gifts these guys brought as Monsignor Ignacio Barreiro-Carámbula sums it up:
Incense proclaims the divinity of the child Jesus, as incense is traditionally offered primarily to God. Remember how many Christians in the early Roman persecutions suffered martyrdom because they refused to offer a pinch of incense to the infamous idols that St. Augustine describes so well in The City of God. This is also reminder to us that the increasingly tyrannical world in which we live is ready to persecute us because we refuse to pander to what is politically correct. Myrrh was offered to Him signifying His human nature: it is a prophetic reminder of the mix of herbs that would be prepared to preserve the body of Christ by the women who loved Him. Gold represents the regality of Christ, as it is clearly proclaimed in the liturgy of this feast and has been taught by many Popes. It comes from the tributes that are due to earthly kings or to other civil authorities. Also it makes a reference to the obligation that Christians have to support in a material way the Church and other Christian works of charity in proportion to their economics means and the duties they have towards their families.

I look at it like this: "You don't think God would send His son to camp without any money do you?"

Feats day of the Holy Innocents

Despair of Herod on finding children convalescing from the massacre - drawn by G.K. Chesterton

...We all know the story of how Herod, alarmed at some rumor of a mysterious rival, remembered the wild gesture of the capricious despots of Asia and ordered a massacre of suspects of the new generation of the populace. Everyone knows the story; but not everyone has perhaps noted its place in the story of the strange religions of men. Not everybody has seen the significance even of its very contrast with the Corinthian columns and Roman pavement of that conquered and superficially civilized world. Only, as the purpose in his dark spirit began to show and shine in the eyes of the Admen, a seer might perhaps have seen something like a great gray ghost that looked over his shoulder; have seen behind him filling the dome of night and hovering for the last time over history that vast and fearful face that was Moloch of the Carthaginians; awaiting his last tribute from a ruler of the races of Shem. The demons also, in that first festival of Christmas, feasted after their own fashion. ....Herod had his place, therefore, in the miracle play of Bethlehem because he is the menace to the Church Militant and shows it from the first as under persecution and fighting for its life. For those who think this a discord, it is a discord that sounds simultaneously with the Christmas bells. For those who think the idea of the Crusade is one that spoils the idea of the Cross, we can only say that for them the idea of the Cross is spoiled; the idea of the Cross is spoiled quite literally in the cradle.
G.K. Chesterton - Everlasting Man

readings for the day here

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

Christmas Bells

I HEARD the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men."




some history on the poem here

Chesterton for Christmas

What do you get for a man who has all of Chesterton's main books - sometimers multiple copies of them?

How about the third Ignatius Press vollume of his collected poetry?

Ah.

Much joyful reading ahead!

The Santa Gift

More Uncle Gilbert here too

Mortal Bread

United with parishes across the country we have a Christmas Bazaar shortly after Thanksgiving.
At our parish we have an elderly lady who makes the best Portuguese bread you ever put in your mouth.

I purchase every loaf she makes and have for years.

This year she had hurt her shoulder and could not knead the dough properly so she would not put out an inferior product. I was devastated in a fit of selfish gluttony. I and my bride user in our Advent with this lovely lady’s warm bread covered with an unhealthy amount of butter.

This past Sunday, after Mass, she waved me over to her car. She handed me 3 loafs of her bread. She asked for no money, she just touched my arm and wished me a Merry Christmas.
My heart soared. I had no idea she knew I was the one who bought her bread (I keep forgetting that there are no secrets in small towns).

By Monday evening the bread was reduced to a few crumbs at the bottom of the bread drawer.

Life is Good.

Ballade of Happy Men

We know no science and we do not find

(With thanks for the present, be it said)

Ten volumes of The Monist or of Mind

The kind of books to take with us to bed.

Unreadable Haeckel is by us unread,

Yet do not wholly pity us or spurn;

We have a secret; our souls are fed,

We shall be ready when the gods return.

Go on O wise and leave your wits behind;

Madness and space are both unlimited.

You shall bind all. But us you shall not bind

Who toiling in the mire for mortal bread

Saw a strange line along the mountain head;

Something fantastical about the fern.

We shall remember, till all leaves are shed,

We shall be ready when the gods return.

Against us all the axes that you find

Are heavy and yet weak like swords of lead;

You shall bind all, but us he shall not bind

Who saw the lily where the last saint bled,

Who toiling in the mire for mortal bread

Found the last fairy sitting on a fern;

G.K. Chesterton

This poem and “The Ballade of Amateur Mystics” are variations of each other.

Disney saves it self

When Disney came out with The Princess and the Frog I thought it was the beginning of one of their epic downward spirals. Then they just released Tangled and my fears were put aside. If you have not taken your chilens to see this movie you should. Yes, there was the evil "mom" figure but none of the natureral parents died and they had more than one emotion. Oh yea sure, you know things are going to work out (maybe) but you are not always sure how. This was one of those films that the trailers could not do justice to.

Then again there is Yogi :

Drive Safe

From the Didn’t See This One Coming bureau: Medical doctors and particle physicists have both issued warnings this week on the imminent danger of Santa Claus’ driving habits.

In a startling new report – out of Paris, for some reason – researchers are warning that Santa Claus annual round-the-world sleigh ride represents a public menace. Owing to presumed alcohol consumption and sleep deprivation, doctors say Santa’s piloting cannot be trusted. One-upping the medical guys, a group of physicists further argues that Santa would have to travel an alarming 650 miles per second to make all his deliveries and would need to deploy ion-shield deflectors to avoid instant vaporization, (hey those elves are clever enough to make one).

The report appears to be tongue-in-cheek, related to a new book on sleep deprivation, but it still underlines the general creepiness of the whole Santa Claus thing. Dealing with drunk, dangerous hippies in your living room at 2 a.m. – wasn’t that supposed to end in college?

Growing a Beard

Orson Welles once said “I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting at the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mount Sinai”

And we all know uncle Gilbert's: “You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.”

My winter beard is doing well, (just a note for those of you that are fretting about it). This is just something I do as a coping mechanism for the frigid climes in which I live. It's personal, yet some take growing a beard in a competitive vain.
The growing a beard anthem is by Ben Vaughn

Just when I begin to think some things are impossible I came upon this video online. I hesitate to hype it, especially at the holidays when everything seems to get hyped. But after seeing it, heck, I'm hyped! So, if you have any history of working around power tools, you gotta see this heartwarming video.

Mel Michaud of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, is a blind woodworker. Think about that a minute. When asked about how he does woodworking, Mel, who makes truck-shaped toy boxes for Santa Anonymous, says: "Like I say, you've got two eyes; I've got 10. You go by feel, you know?"

SHOP NOW before it is too Late

As Lazarus said in his first letter to the Fallopians:
"When the rapture comeith the righteous shall riseith unto heaven but not before getting some unfeakingbelievable deals".



no really it is true

No new celluloid this year

This most amazing quote from this article is this, “Studios don't usually take sides in culture-wars debates.”

Um? What?! Of course they do and do it all the time.

They hold up abortion as a secular sacrament. Movies like Bella, Juno, Waitress, and Knocked Up were exceptions and were lambasted by the critics because of their message not the quality of the film.

Homosexuality is held up as good and here it is impossible to find one film that says and/or gives a stance that same sex cohabitation is a bad, (OK except for comic or “stupid” characters).

The idea in films about Marriage for life is used as a joke. Even with Disney the family is not intact-quickly name one Disney film where either the mother is not dead or not evil.

The problem is not that the people do not want Christmas movies but that the “A list” movie makers lack the understanding and sensitivity to make one without having their tongue firmly planted in their cheek.

Mark Shea did a very good write up of this attitude here.

Where’s the Frank Capra of this generation? I know he is out there but he can’t get the funding.

wish i was there