Monday, December 21, 2009

The Copenhagen Synod Part 2

Well the synod has concluded and to continue their religion mapping they even created a secret society that may or may not have the power to put countries, which do not go along with them, on double secret probation but we shall see.
"The so-called Danish text, a secret draft agreement worked on by a group of individuals known as “the circle of commitment” – but understood to include the UK, US and Denmark – has only been shown to a handful of countries since it was finalized this week.”

"The circle of commitment" has a nice ring to it don't cha think? Dan Brown could not have done better.

Also one of the goals of this group was to help (give money to) poorer members to deal with the effects of global warming. No one has yet to explain what it means to deal with these effects and they remind us it is not for us to understand - for their ways are far above our ways.
Archbishop Al Gore tells us in 5 years the polar ice caps will melt so maybe the money will be used to help Santa move his world headquarters.

And at the Church of the Presumptuous Assumption of the Blinding Light. Sent up a hymn:
Oh blinding light,
Oh light that blinds,
I cannot see,
Look out for me!!

As Michael Jones tells us "You cannot be a skeptic on “Climate Change,” but only an ignorant “Denier,” You’re either quivering with salvation from seeing the light of wisdom, or you’re an ignorant knave in need of re-education."

At the synod the U.S. Secretary of the Environment singlehandedly spoke from on high by labeling CO2 emissions as health hazards . "This changes the conversation to health concerns and away from the endless squabbling over science between global warmers versus deniers."

That darn pesky science thingy. "Let it be done unto us according to your word."

But the synod could not, in good faith, outlaw exhaling.

However, since this pantheon takes their godhood quite seriously they did the next best thing by adding a population control measure to the overall agreement which would limit the number of people exhaling. After all gods have the power to decide who lives and who dies and they intend to exercise that power.
"Dealing with climate change is not simply an issue of CO2 emission reduction but a comprehensive challenge involving political, economic, social, cultural and ecological issues, and the population concern fits right into the picture," said Zhao, who is a member of the Chinese government delegation. Zhao said that China's population program has made a great historic contribution to the well-being of society. As a result of the family planning policy, China has seen 400 million fewer births, which has resulted in 18 million fewer tons of CO2 emissions a year, Zhao said. "

Maybe they do have a creed after all: Save the trees. Kill the babies.

1 comment:

A Secular Franciscan said...

Speaking as one who has close ties to Santa, I can assure you he has already taken some counter measures. Those elves are pretty clever.