Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Very apropos it was the German’s to call humor a brain dysfunction. No, seriously, try to think of one German comedian.

This disorder seems to affect every father on the planet - my kids think so anyway.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way

When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a

barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

I was on an elevator the other day, and the operator kept calling me 'son.' I
said, 'Why do you call me 'son'? You're not my father.' He said, 'I brought you
up, didn't I?'

What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.

There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck.

Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant's fingers.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and on thetable was a checkered tablecloth. It took him 2 hours to pass me the salt.

Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness? There are nomad people there.

What is the difference between one yard and two yards? A fence.

Happy Thanksgiving

and yes, I need help.

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