Every year, I try to include some creative element with my Christmas cards. It varies: Sometimes a story, sometimes a poem, sometimes a collection of poems. This year it's a collection of clerihews about holy people or Biblical characters. A number of the poems have appeared here previously in separate posts, and some have been published in Gilbert.
Merry Christmas!
At Nicaea, St. Nicholasslapped a naughty Arius.
Since then he's found a list does fine
to help keep those who stray in line.
St. Thomas More
wandered into a Denver marijuana store
where he was chagrined by the cornucopia
of products labeled "Utopia."
When he was young St. Polycarp
religiously practiced the harp.
When a musical career proved a non-starter
he instead became a martyr.
Too sick to attend, St. Clare
miraculously saw the service as if there.
Because of that vision
she's now the patron saint of television.
That holy doorman Solanus Casey
was someone whom people flocked to see.
Folks say that his only sin
was the way he played the violin.
In his early life Thomas Merton
was often uncertain.
He ended his consternation
through contemplation.
Lot's wife
ended her life
when she came to a halt
and proved her salt.
After that day in Moriah, young Isaac
developed many a nervous tic,
and was tempted to run for his life
whenever Abraham picked up a knife.
Ezekiel
was full of prophetic zeal.
He was only wrong when it came to bets
on the Jets and the Mets.
St. Francis of Assisi,
joyfully grateful for the Nativity,
created at Greccio a stable display
that’s imitated world-wide to this day.
St. Rose
was plagued by earthly beaus.
To discourage their thoughts of marriage
she used pepper to spice up her visage.
St. Thomas Aquinas
was noted for his reticence and shyness.
But crack open a bottle
and he’d expound at length on Aristotle.
Irascible St. Jerome
was justly noted for his biblical tome,
but he was upset that no one would look
at his vegetarian cookbook.
Methuselah
was one long-lived fella.
It wasn't because longevity was bred in his bones,
he was just determined to pay off all his college loans.
St. Dominic
considered using a sword or a stick,
but found that rosary beads
worked quite well for his demon-battling needs.
The replacement Apostle Matthias
was chosen by lot, not by bias.
Alas, except for his selection.
he's eluded all other historical detection.
We can probably assume Saint Blaise
is in Heaven these days.
Martyrdom likely led him to eternal glory
and not just some fish story.
The prophet Amos
became justly famous
not for his cookie baking skill,
but for proclaiming God's will.
St. Paul,
by modern standards wasn’t tall,
but he did go from guarding the coats
to being one of the Church’s GOATs.
St. Robert Southwell
sat musing for a spell,
then sadly said, “It does seem a shame
Americans don’t properly pronounce my name.”
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